Showing posts tagged online dating

OkCupid has gotten into the holiday’s spirit. We are all amused.

Wow you sound very entertaining adorable and highly interesting , like me lol anyhow accused only of being a tiny bit of a stage hog/ life of the party entertainer type well because I really am…
Entire message from [screen name redacted], sent at 2 a.m. the other night. Exhibit D in “Reasons to Let the Cocaine Wear Off Before Logging Online.”
Indications to the contrary.

Indications to the contrary.

  1. Isn’t this basically just combining the worst of online dating with the worst of being set up?
  2. Isn’t this basically just non-gay (or rather, optionally-gay) Grindr?

theatlantic:

How Online Romance is Threatening Monogamy

The positive aspects of online dating are clear: the Internet makes it easier for single people to meet other single people with whom they might be compatible, raising the bar for what they consider a good relationship. But what if online dating makes it too easy to meet someone new? What if it raises the bar for a good relationship too high? What if the prospect of finding an ever-more-compatible mate with the click of a mouse means a future of relationship instability, in which we keep chasing the elusive rabbit around the dating track?

Read more. [Image: R. Kikuo Johnson]

I think the cartoon pretty much sums it up.

(Reblogged from theatlantic)
Fail.

Fail.

Worst-case scenario: I’m a washed-up, unemployable, and STD-infested but exceedingly well-hung d-bag

The first two lines of my OKCupid profile read, “My porn stage name would be Sam Clay. Actually — and I hope this isn’t a dealbreaker — that is my porn stage name.”

Chinese Cynthia wants to know, “Just out of curiosity, what do u mean by porn stage name? Did u use to work as a porn star?”

Currently weighing the potential benefits & drawbacks of saying yes…


 

Odd even by OKCupid standards.
(Or maybe an obscure obscene reference that somehow slipped by OKC’s rigorous [ha!] editorial eyes?)
(I answered “Bad idea,” but I think I was responding from a weird-pets-vis-a-vis-dating perspective. On behalf of said monkeys, I hereby change my answer to “No way.”)

Odd even by OKCupid standards.

(Or maybe an obscure obscene reference that somehow slipped by OKC’s rigorous [ha!] editorial eyes?)

(I answered “Bad idea,” but I think I was responding from a weird-pets-vis-a-vis-dating perspective. On behalf of said monkeys, I hereby change my answer to “No way.”)

Online-dating FAIL.

Online-dating FAIL.

Beware, fellas. Other euphemisms include, but are in no way limited to, the following: “curvy,” “voluptuous,” “womanly,” “zaftig,” “fecund,” “NOT an anorexic Barbie doll!,” and “porcine.” 

The abs of the chick I went out with yesterday. “You are looking at Miss Fitness 2011,” she said to me. Truth. She just won her country’s competition two weeks ago.
I am either frightened or turned on, or maybe both.

The abs of the chick I went out with yesterday. “You are looking at Miss Fitness 2011,” she said to me. Truth. She just won her country’s competition two weeks ago.

I am either frightened or turned on, or maybe both.

Primary profile photo of [handle redacted to protect her privacy and, in this case, her dignity]. In the “You should message me if” section of her profile, she writes, “If you’re just looking to get laid, dont write me, i’m not interested, save yourself some time.” This is what’s known in the realm of courtship as “sending mixed messages.” “Also,” she adds, “you dont have to show me your disgusting naked chest photos in a mirror. It’s a big turn-off.” Agreed. That would not be classy at all.

"The first things people usually notice about me"? That would be "my pink braces." Debatable. I probably would have gone with "my crotch."

When she’s not admiring her own panties through her camera lens, [handle redacted] is a “journalist, writer, photo editor, sculptor and a dollmaker. I’m also in real estate. Also, I just started my own bath products company.” Busy girl. 

The main profile pic — i.e., the one that shows up in all searches, as the icon next to chats & emails, etc. — of [name redacted to protect her dignity, though I will say — and let’s be honest, you already knew this — it contains the “word” “Charmz”]

I’ve been on two real dates in my life, both of them in my freshman year of college, nearly a quarter century ago. The first, as it happens, was with the eldest daughter of Robert Ross… We went to ‘Burn This’ on Broadway. I remember John Malkovich stomping around onstage and then my date catching a train back to Scarsdale. She remembers that we went to a Chinese restaurant and (this hurts) that I ordered a tequila sunrise. That night, anyway, was the end of it for us.

For the next date, on the advice of a classmate from Staten Island, who claimed to have dating experience, I took a sophomore I liked to a T.G.I. Friday’s, in a shopping center on Route 1 in New Jersey. On the drive there, a fuse blew, knocking out the car stereo, and so I pulled over, removed the fuse box, fashioned a fuse out of some aluminum foil from a pack of cigarettes, and got the cassette deck going again. My companion could not have known that this would hold up as the lone MacGyver moment in a lifetime of my standing around uselessly while other people fix stuff, but she can attest to it now, as she has usually been the one, since then, doing the fixing. We’ve been together for twenty-three years.

From Nick Paumgarten’s wonderful (and prolifically emailed, forwarded, linked to, and blogged about) feature on online dating in this week’s New Yorker
grammer.
One woman’s complete, [sic]ening entry in the “I spend a lot of time thinking about” section of her OKCupid profile