Dude, the ’80s were so dope. I love that someone went to Warner Bros. and was like, “We should do an action-drama movie about a truck-driving arm wrestler, and we should get Sylvester Stallone to star in it, and we should give him $12 million to do so,” and then someone at Warner Bros. was like, “Oh my god, that is EXACTLY what we should do,” AND THEN THEY ACTUALLY DID THAT SHIT.
If we figure for inflation, $12 million in 1987 comes out to more than $25.1 million today. TWENTY-FIVE MILLION ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND. For a movie about arm wrestling. For a bit of context: Matt Damon gets about $18 million per movie today; Brad Pitt gets about $20 million per; Tom Cruise gets $22 million per. What a truly spectacular time period to have been a movie star the ’80s were. We’re never going to see an era like that in Hollywood again. R.I.P. to big-budget arm-wrestling movies.
I can’t drink because I just get tired. I go to sleep. I don’t know how people drink and then do shit. Like in movies or TV shows, when there’s people in an office having a power meeting, and they’re ‘clink, clink’ — they’re making a drink! — in the daylight, with a tie on.
"Well, Senator, hope you’ll play ball with us on this construction deal, if you know what I’m sayin’."
"Yeah, well, I’ll see what’s in it for me. Heh heh heh."
How is the next scene just not all those people lying on the floor going, “Fuck, I can’t believe I drank whiskey at noon”?
The movie is exhaustingly bad, but bad in ways you can’t imagine in advance….
Depp acts in the show-biz ethnic tradition of Brando’s Japanese interpreter in the appalling ‘Teahouse of the August Moon,’ and he sounds to me like a turn-of-the-last-century Yiddish actor doing Shakespeare….
'The Lone Ranger' combines Depp's shallow, liberal seriousness with 'Pirates of the Caribbean' slapstick spectacle, and the upshot is horrible. It's like 'Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee,' adapted into a Disney theme park ride.
Actual summary (courtesy of DIRECTV) of Rubber, an actual movie playing right now on Showtime Beyond.
IMDB’s description (which I read only because I linked to it just now) is even awesomer: “When Robert, a tire, discovers his destructive telepathic powers, he soon sets his sights on a desert town; in particular, a mysterious woman becomes his obsession.” And first in the acting credits? Goodyear, as Robert the Tire.