Showing posts tagged 30 Rock

Two Great Links Honoring the Last Ep of ‘30 Rock’

You think I don’t take diversity seriously? Only a fool doesn’t. Diversity is the engine that drives this country. We are an immigrant nation! The first generation works their fingers to the bone making things, the next generation goes to college and innovates new ideas, the third generation snowboards and takes improv classes.

Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin), on 30 Rock.

(This one’s for you, Taylor.)

I haven’t written about my lameass roommate in a while. No real reason, really. Other, pettier things to bitch about, maybe?

Anyway, I am now happy to report that I probably won’t be writing about her again — she’s no longer my roommate. The thing is, while she was a grade-A runt, I did really like the apartment and neighborhood, and by giving me no flexibility with the lease (no month-to-month option after two years together??), she essentially forced me out. I could have found a short-term sublet somewhere, but given my current situation (more on that some other time), it didn’t make sense.

So I gathered up five years’ worth of accumulation, spent a small fortune shipping half of it home, and heavy-heartedly tossed the rest, including my prized beer bottle collection (next post). Now I’m (temporarily) back with my parents, helping my mom carry grocery bags and sleeping in my childhood bedroom alongside my sports banners and trophies and Def Leppard poster. (This semi-fictional humor piece I wrote last year is suddenly looking less and less semi-fictional.) The more things change…

I + Me = Mea Culpa : (

Dear [Name Redacted],

I owe you an apology. About a week after I publicly humiliated you by posting this, thereby subjecting you to the derision of my tens of thousands of followers, a friend alerted me of my wrongdoing. Here is how it went (*NOTE: actual dialogue approximated):

My Friend Katie: So tell me more about how stupid other people can be.

Me: Gladly! So, like, the other day, some chick from OK Cupid emails me, and her message has two sentences — and one of them is simply “U + me = : )”

MFK: [same look of incredulity that one would expect upon hearing of such inanity]

Me: I know, right?

MFK: What was the other sentence?

Me: That’s not important.

{It is important. It said, “I love your user name!” My user name is a 30 Rock reference.}

A pause. Then —

MFK: Do you watch 30 Rock?

Me: Yeah.

MFK: Well, there was an episode where Jack breaks up with Condoleezza Rice with a text message that just says “U + me = : (“

Me: Oh.

MFK (thinking this, but too nice to say it): Yeah, “Oh.”

A reference, to be sure, the so-called “male Liz Lemon” should have gotten. And so, my fellow online-dating 30 Rock fanatic, I hereby and humbly apologize. 

That said, I don’t really want to go out. You look a little chunky for my taste.

Sincerely,

: (